For Dads: What To Do, What Not To Do When Your Wife Has Postpartum Depression
What you think might help, might not.
It can be extremely frustrating to live with someone’s who’s depressed, especially when you have a new baby and it seems like the house is crowded with things that need to get done right now. What you think might help, might not. Or, could even make things worse. Remember, you cannot fix this. You cannot make this go away. No matter how hard you try or how much you love your wife, recovery takes longer than you want it to. You must be willing to wait this out with her.
I’m hoping these suggestions will help the two of you.
Keep these important points in mind:
- Research has shown us that a woman’s depression will improve markedly with the consistent support of a significant other.
- The longer you pretend that the depression will go away by itself and deny it is really happening, the longer her recovery will take.
- The more you expect of her, the greater your demands, the more difficult her recovery will be.
- The harder you are on yourself, the less resources you will have to carry you through each day.
- You must take this very seriously.
- You have much more power to affect the outcome of how you both feel, than you might think you do.
- Your wife will get better. Things will settle at home, in time. You will have your wife and your life, back.
What to say
Her moods and emotional vulnerability will get in the way of good communication for now.
Here’s what you’re up against:
- If you tell her you love her… she won’t believe you.
- If you tell her she’s a good mother…she’ll think you’re just saying that to make her feel better.
- If you tell her she’s beautiful… she’ll assume you’re lying.
- If you tell her not to worry about anything… she’ll think you have no idea how bad she feels.
- If you tell her you’ll come home early to help her… she’ll feel guilty.
- If you tell her you have to work late… she’ll think you don’t care.
But you can:
- Tell her you know she feels terrible.
- Tell her she will get better.
- Tell her she is doing all the right things to get better (therapy,medication, etc.).
- Tell her she can still be a good mother and feel terrible.
- Tell her it’s okay to make mistakes; she doesn’t have to do everything perfectly.
- Tell her you know how hard she’s working at this right now.
- Tell her to let you know what she needs you to do to help.
- Tell her you know she’s doing the best she can.
- Tell her you love her.
- Tell her your baby will be fine.
What NOT to say
- Do not tell her she should get over this.
- Do not tell her you are tired of her feeling this way.
- Do not tell her this should be the happiest time of her life.
- Do not tell her you liked her better the way she was before.
- Do not tell her she’ll snap out of this.
- Do not tell her she would feel better if only: she were working, she were not working, she got out of the house more, stayed home more, etc.
- Do not tell her she should lose weight, color her hair, buy new clothes, etc.
- Do not tell her all new mothers feel this way.
- Do not tell her this is just a phase.
- Do not tell her if she wanted a baby, this is what she has to go through.
- Do not tell her you know she’s strong enough to get through this on her own and she doesn’t need help.
Practical things you can do
- Help around the house
- Set limits with friends and family
- Answer the phone. Take a message.
- Throw in a load of laundry. Order take-out for dinner.
- Accompany her to doctor’s appointments
- Educate yourself about PPD, read the books your wife gives you
- Write down the concerns and questions you have and taking them to her doctor or therapist.
- Make a list, together, of the things that may provide an outlet for her so you can both refer to it when she needs a break.
- The single most important thing for you to do to help is to just be with her. Sit with her. No TV, no kids, no dog, no bills, no newspaper. Just you and her. Let her know you’re there.This isn’t easy to do, especially with someone who seems so sad or so distant. Five minutes a day is a good place to start.
Other things you can (should) do
- Call her from work to check in. Call her again if she’s having a bad day.
- Ask her if there is anything you can do to help.
- Look her in the eyes when she talks to you.
- Encourage her to get as much rest as possible.
- Intervene so she can get some uninterrupted sleep.
- Try to find some “you and me” time with no other distractions.
- Call a friend and solicit support.
- Listen to her.
- Be patient.
REMEMBER:
- Try to postpone any important decision until after she is feeling better.
- Decisions that cannot wait should be made together, whenever possible.
- Decisions about childcare, work, breastfeeding, etc. will feel enormous to her now. Help her sort this out by discussing the pros and cons of each decision.
- Some of the things you think she should do right now to feel better, may not work.
- Some of the things that previously made her feel good, may feel like too much effort at this time.
© Copyright 2011 Karen Kleiman, MSW www.postpartumstress.com
Adapted from The Postpartum Husband: Practical Solutions for Living withPostpartum Depression by Karen Kleiman, MSW
photo: Getty images
The baby boost – how babies are helping their moms recover from depression.
The baby boost
For 10 percent of new mothers the joy of childbirth gives way to major depression within weeks or months. If not treated, these women not only suffer from the usual symptoms of the disorder–anxiety, hopelessness, and loss of self-worth–but also may have trouble forming a bond with their baby. And that can stunt a child’s emotional and mental development.
Now, a team of Chicago doctors has enlisted some very special people to hell depressed new moms: their own babies.
“We try to preserve the mother-baby bond as well as promote the integration of the entire family during the course of the mental illness,” reports psychiatrist Stephanie von Ammon Cavanaugh, M.D., who the Postpartum Well-Being Program at Rush-Presbyterian-St. Luke’s Medical Center.
Unlike traditional therapy, which relies on individual counseling, the program encourages mothers to bring in and interact with their babies as much as possible. The baby acts as a “powerful stimulus,” helping depressed moms combat the intrusive thoughts they often have about intentionally harming their child, while building up their confidence as nurturers. Husbands and kids also get counseling to confront feelings of resentment and guilt that can overwhelm families coping with a depressed parent
So far, the program has been quite successful, says Cavanaugh. With treatment, more than 80 percent of women with postpartum depression can recover completely within one year. Without help, only 25 to 30 percent improve and those who don’t may have babies who grow up wetting the bed, having a lower I.Q., and crying more often.
Source: http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199401/the-baby-boost
Insufficient sleep linked to increased incidence of postpartum depression
Postpartum depression higher in sleep deprived moms
Depression after childbirth, or postpartum depression, occurs in between 13-20% of women. Its onset is usually a few weeks after childbirth, and many risk factors for it have been identified, including a history of depression preceding childbirth, poor support networks in caring for the newborn, and what has been termed “difficult child temperament” (though it is not always clear whether the mother’s mood colors her perception of the infant’s temperament, or if the infant’s temperament does in fact influence the mother’s mood).
A study published in the August 2009 issue of the Archives of Women’s Mental Health looking at the effect of sleep fragmentation on the development of postpartum depression found that new mothers who were awake for more than two hours between midnight and 6 am on a regular basis, and new mothers who napped less than one hour during the day on a regular basis, were at increased risk for depression three months after delivery. Their sleep was measured with a motion sensor (an actigraph) which can give a more accurate indication of sleep patterns than diaries, particularly if they are not filled out in “real time”, as can happen when one is chronically sleep deprived and trying to deal with all the extra work accompanying a newborn.
This study’s findings demonstrate the very important role sleep plays in the health and well being of a new mother, sleep which is all too often very lacking. It also points to a very simple way that partners, older children, extended family, and/or friends can help a new mother adjust to and cope with the hardships and responsibilities of caring for a newborn: taking care of the baby for portions of the day and night so that she can simply get more sleep. A less sleep deprived mother is a happier and healthier mother (and wife, partner, friend).
Many of the infants seen at the sleep center at Children’s Hospital Boston are referred because of irregular sleeping patterns, and difficulties initiating and maintaining sleep. These almost never have a negative effect on the child, but do wreak havoc on the parents’ (especially the mother’s), ability to get a decent amount of sleep. The children are usually bright eyed, smiling and playful, often in stark contrast to the exhausted mother with dark circles under her eyes who looks like she hasn’t slept in half a year (and in many cases, she indeed has not).
Postpartum depression is a serious, and unfortunately, all too common disorder. Perhaps by making sure new mothers have a chance to sleep properly, its incidence can be mitigated.
Going Through a Crisis
Will you ever feel happy again?
When we’re experiencing a challenging event or time in our life, it can feel absolutely devastating. In the moment, it can seem difficult to impossible even imagining surviving, let alone ever feeling happy again. To maintain a healthy perspective in the middle of a rough period takes practice. Saying things like, “this is so difficult and painful but I know the worst of it is temporary,” can help. The emotional pain can easily distract and trick us into believing it will never leave. If you hear yourself thinking or saying the words “never” and “always” (For instance, “I’ll never get over this” or, “I’ll always feel this way”) you can be sure you’ve lost your healthy perspective. It’s so important for us to remember that indeed we can and will get through it, with proper support. From my personal and professional experience, I can say with conviction that we can actually emerge from the crisis better and stronger than before.
Dr. Shosh
www.DrShosh.com
Source: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mommy-mental-health/201105/going-through-crisis
Shoshana Bennett, Ph.D.
Shoshana Bennett, Ph.D. (“Dr. Shosh”) from the popular DrShosh.com Radio Show is the author of Pregnant on Prozac, Postpartum Depression For Dummies, and co-author of Beyond the Blues: Understanding and Treating Prenatal and Postpartum Depression & Anxiety. National TV shows including “20/20” and “The Doctors” feature Dr. Shosh as the postpartum expert and news stations consult her. Several publications including the San Francisco Chronicle and the San Jose Mercury News have written articles on Dr. Shosh’s work. She’s interviewed regularly on national radio and has been quoted in dozens of newspapers and magazines such as The Wall Street Journal, WebMD, Boston Globe, Fit Pregnancy, Glamour, Parenting, Psychology Today, New York Post, Self, Cosmopolitan, and the Chicago Tribune.
Dr. Shosh is a pioneer in the field. She is a survivor of two life-threatening, undiagnosed postpartum depressions. She founded Postpartum Assistance for Mothers in 1987, and is a former president of Postpartum Support International. She has helped over 19,000 women worldwide through individual consultations, support groups and wellness seminars. As a noted guest lecturer and keynote speaker, she travels throughout the US and abroad, training medical and mental health professionals to assess and treat postpartum depression and related mood and anxiety disorders. She earned three teaching credentials, two masters degrees, a Ph.D. and is licensed as a clinical psychologist. She can be contacted through DrShosh.com.
PPD? Questions & Tips for Postpartum Women
Do we really know how postpartum women are feeling?
To physicians and other healthcare practitioners: If you are not asking these questions of each postpartum woman, you do not know how she is feeling:
To postpartum women: If your healthcare provider is not asking you these questions, take this list with you and be sure they know how you are feeling:
- Have you had PPD before?
- Do you have a history of depression?
- Are you sleeping okay when your baby sleeps?
- Any changes in your appetite?
- Are you experiencing anxiety or panic?
- Are you afraid to be alone with your baby?
- Do you feel more irritable or angry than usual?
- Are you worried about the way you feel right now?
- What worries you the most about the way you feel?
- Are you afraid you might lose control?
- Are you afraid of the thoughts you are having?
- Do you wonder if you’re a bad mother?
- If you are breastfeeding, how important is that to you?
- Do you ever have thoughts about hurting yourself?
- Do you find it hard to make decisions?
- Does your husband know how you are feeling?
- How do you feel about taking medication if it helps you feel better?
- Are there other stressful events that are impacting the way you feel?
- Is there anything you are afraid to tell me, but think I should know?
Tips for professional and family support:
- Do not assume that if she looks good, she is fine.
- Do not tell her it’s normal to feel this way after having a baby.
- Do not assume this will get better on its own.
- Do encourage her to get a comprehensive evaluation.
- Do take her concerns seriously.
- Do let her know you are there if she needs you
source: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/isnt-what-i-expected/201107/ppd-questions-tips-postpartum-women
copyright 2011 Karen Kleiman postpartumstress.com
Postpartum Depression Shouldn’t Make Moms Feel Ashamed
Image via Bryan Gosline/Flickr
Originally Posted by Jacqueline Burt on August 6, 2011 at 6:00 AM
It doesn’t surprise me that there’s still enough of astigma associated with postpartum depressionthat many moms don’t seek help.
Postpartum depression is an illness, but we treat it as a character flaw, a personal failure. I know the shame women with PPD feel, because I’ve been there myself.
I’ll never forget the despair and self-loathingthat marked the postpartum depression I went through after my daughter was born. I knew it was “normal.” All the baby books listed it as a postnatal symptom right alongside engorged breasts and fatigue.
But nothing prepared me for the reality …
I loved my new baby more than I’d ever loved anything on the face of the earth. I was beyond lucky, and I knew that. That’s why I couldn’t forgive myself for feeling like I was emotionally at the bottom of a deep, dark well, fighting to keep myself afloat. That’s really the best way to describe it … for me, postpartum depression was like falling. And falling, and falling, and having no idea how to climb my way back up.
I was terrified that I wouldn’t be able to take care of my daughter, but I was even more terrified to admit that to myself. I was less afraid of what other people would think, which is why I didn’t wait very long to make an appointment with a therapist once I realized that I needed to see one. In my case, the “stigma” was self-imposed. I can’t help but wonder if it’s not the same for other women … we expect so much of ourselves, we want, more than anything, to be the ”perfect” mothers to our new babies.
But we’re not perfect, and that’s okay. The first step in getting over postpartum depression, for me, was accepting that fact, and realizing that I could be a good momin spite of my own personal limitations.
My heart goes out to moms who are going through this incredibly difficult time. I can promise you that it won’t last forever. The sooner you get help, the sooner you’ll start to feel better. You deserve to feel better.
Did you go through postpartum depression?
Image via Bryan Gosline/Flickr
Originally Posted by Jacqueline Burt on August 6, 2011 at 6:00 AM
Source: http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/124181/postpartum_depression_shouldnt_make_moms
Asking for Help: What Gets in the Way and Why?
It takes strength to ask for help, it is not a sign of weakness.
Women tend to take better care of everyone else than themselves. Most women readily confess that self-care is on the bottom of their “to-do” lists. Mothers, in particular, are inclined to sacrifice their own needs while maintaining intense focus on the needs of their children. Often, mothers are motivated by the belief that complete and singular attention to ones’ child is the very hallmark of a devoted, loving mother. Compromise in this area does not feel like an option to many women.This prevailing notion that motherhood is synonymous with sacrifice, if not complete abandonment of ones’ own needs, can quickly translate into a loss of self. Somewhere along the way, mothers have incorporated the misperception that taking care of themselves is selfish and incompatible with the fierce demands of motherhood.
It’s hard to ask for help. Asking for help is often perceived as a character weakness, If I were only strong enough, I could do this by myself or worse, a mothering flaw, If I were a good mother, I wouldn’t need help. Giving help is simply easier than asking for it, and accepting it is even harder altogether! However, it is important to recognize that these perceptions are just that-perceptions, rather than facts. In early chapters, we learned that mothers with scary thoughts are understandably reluctant to let others know how they are feeling and what they are thinking. Even though one might understand that it is in her best interest to talk about it, it makes sense that she might hesitate to do so. Nevertheless, asking for help around the house, or help with the kids, or companionship to ease the strain is essential to a woman’s well being and should surpass the reflex not to ask for it.
One of the most powerful contributing factors to a woman’s reluctance to ask for help during the postpartum period is her need for control when everything around her is feeling so out of control. During this time when unpredictability triumphs over order, postpartum women are often forced to relinquish their desire for harmony and settle for the illusion of control. What does an illusion of control look like? It looks perfect. If a woman is inclined toward perfectionism, this tendency will promptly supersede the chaos. In this way, everything that feels out of place miraculously falls in line. At least that’s how it looks. One new mother described it this way:
I tried so hard to make sure everyone saw me as a mother who was totally in control; after all, I’ve done this before. No big deal. Women have been having babies for centuries. I knew what I needed to do to look good so no one would think anything was wrong. On the surface, it looked exactly the way I wanted it to. I was calm and perfectly in control. I made sure to put my make up on right before an appointment with my doctor or my kid’s doctor or my therapist. I even put on lipstick, which I never wear, so I would look fresh and ready for the world. But it was like my body was stuck in high idle with my engine revving but going nowhere. At any moment, I felt my insides would rupture. Still, I wouldn’t dare let anyone know I was feeling that way.
The energy it takes to maintain this illusion is enormous and, ironically, makes it harder to ask for help. The experience of feeling completely out of control, while simultaneously longing for it, is not unfamiliar to mothers. This is why it is so important for women to give themselves permission to ask for help. Remember, the objective is to reduce the external stress, thereby reduce the distress, and in so doing, reduce the frequency or intensity of feelings of distress.
Asking for help is not a luxury. It is essential.
Excerpted and adapted from “Dropping the Baby and Other Scary Thoughts” Kleiman & Wenzel (2010) Routledge
Karen Kleiman, MSW, LCSW
Karen Kleiman, MSW, LCSW, is Founder and Executive Director of The Postpartum Stress Center, LLC. She is the author of several books on postpartum depression, and has been working with women and their families for over 25 years. A native of Saint Louis, MO., Karen has lived in the Philadelphia area since 1982 with her two children and her husband. After graduating in 1980 from the University of Illinois at Chicago with her Masters in Social Work, she began her practice as a psychotherapist, specializing in women’s issues. In 1988 she founded The Postpartum Stress Center, LLC where she provides treatment for prenatal and postpartum depression and anxiety.
In addition to her clinical practice, Karen provides advanced training classes for clinicians from around the world to hope to specialize in the treatment of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. She and her staff also conduct inservices for healthcare professionals as well as consultation and supervision to therapists. She frequently lectures and continues to write on the topic of postpartum adjustment. Her work has been featured in local and national magazines, numerous radio shows, local and national television shows, “Inside Edition”, The Oprah Winfrey Show and NBC Nightly News with Tom Brokaw.
Currently, Karen is affiliated with a number of on-line sites, where she writes articles, facilitates support chats and addresses concerns of postpartum and pregnant women. In addition to her work at The Postpartum Stress Center, Karen maintains a general private practice where she treats individuals, couples and families.
Blues or Depression – how do you know?
Is this the ‘blues’ or am I struggling with depression?
From Human Services, Inc.
We all have times when we feel blue, are overwhelmed by everyday tasks, have difficulty sleeping, lack joy in life, or find it difficult to concentrate. However, if any or all of these feelings become frequent and persistent, they may be symptoms of depression, and should be taken seriously. Depression is a common and serious medical illness that negatively impacts feelings, thoughts, and actions. It affects men and women of all ages, cultures, races, and income levels.
However, the very word “depression” can be confusing, as it is used both in a general and a clinical sense. We often say that we are “depressed” when we are blue or sad, but these feelings are usually fleeting and pass within a couple of days. When a person has a depressive disorder, however, it interferes with daily life, normal functioning, and causes pain for both the person with the disorder and those who care about him or her.
Depression is a common but serious medical illness that involves changes in the brain. If you are one of the more than 20 million people in the United States who have depression, your feelings of being “down in the dumps” or “blue” do not go away. They persist and interfere with your everyday life. Such symptoms can include sadness, loss of interest or pleasure in activities you used to enjoy, change in weight, difficulty sleeping or oversleeping, energy loss, feelings of worthlessness, and even thoughts of death or suicide.
Depression can run in families, and usually starts between the ages of 15 and 30. It is much more common in women, who can also get postpartum depression after the birth of a baby. Some people suffer “seasonal affective disorder” in the winter, which involves depression. Depression is also one part of bipolar disorder. Depression often co-exists with other illnesses. Such illnesses may precede the depression, cause it, and may be a consequence of it.
Although depression can affect anyone, there are a few groups that are particularly vulnerable. These include the elderly; suicide rates are highest among people aged 65 years and older, with men in that age group having the highest rates of all. The next most vulnerable group is adolescents; suicide is the third leading cause of death for young people aged 15-24 years. When depression is combined with substance abuse, the risk for self-harm goes up dramatically for any age group.
Left untreated, depression wreaks havoc on a person’s quality of life. It may worsen symptoms of other diseases, and even can be fatal. People who have a stroke or heart attack, for example, are more likely to die if they have depression.
The good news is that depression is treatable, even in severe cases. Between 80 percent and 90 percent of people respond well to treatment, and most gain at least some relief from their symptoms. The first step is to visit a doctor. Your family doctor or a health clinic is a good place to start. A doctor can make sure that the symptoms of depression are not being caused by another medical condition. A doctor may refer you to a mental health professional.
Most insurance plans cover treatment for depression. Check with your own insurance company to find out what type of treatment is covered. If you don’t have insurance, local city or county governments may offer treatment at a clinic or health center, where the cost is based on income. Medicaid plans also may pay for depression treatment.
People who are depressed often need those who care about them to lead the way. If you are concerned about depression in yourself or someone else, it is important to seek help. Discuss your concerns with a health care or mental health professional and request a complete evaluation. Remember that depression is treatable, and the proper diagnosis and treatment can restore the sufferer to enjoyment of life.
- HSI, a nonprofit organization with seven offices located throughout Washington County, annually serves more than 8,600 people, offering a variety of services to adults, children, adolescents, and families.
Source: http://www.review-news.com/main.asp?SectionID=60&SubSectionID=126&ArticleID=5341
How can stay-at-home moms avoid depression?
Reposting this blog entry:
http://www.momstalknetwork.com/resources/stay-at-home-mom-depression-ways-to-avoid-it/
Written on April 26th, 2007 at 8:28 pm by Kelly
Depression can strike anyone at any time in their lives. When we think of depression and mothers, what comes to mind is postpartum depression. But, stay-at-home moms can suffer from depression as well. Learn how to keep depression from becoming an issue in your home.
Most mothers who decide to stay at home with their children will tell you that they have made no greater decision in their lives. Being present for the formative years is a once in a lifetime experience. The children benefit from having a parental presence throughout the day and the family saves money on daycare services.
Still, there are challenges that each mother has to face as a stay-at-home parent. The interaction with other adults is limited now that there is no job outside of the home. At first it may not seem like a big deal, but every woman needs a little girl talk now and again.
Stay-at-home mothers perform a job that never ends. At the end of the day your kids do not leave for elsewhere. They are already home.
Household duties still need to get done. The best times to clean is when the children are asleep and don’t need constant supervision. Then you have to clean, cook, wash clothes, and tidy up before they wake up. Moms can feel like a prisoner in their own homes.
When the days become overwhelming, depression can set in. At first, you may feel like sleeping every time the kids lay down. Then you may get easily irritated with them when they want you to play with them or if they break something. Moms could chalk these symptoms up to fatigue. Then your emotions may begin to have their way with you.
If this happens, stop and take a deep breath. Depression is a serious issue that needs to be dealt with. If your kids are getting to you, be honest about it and don’t feel guilty. We all have our breaking point without an outlet. The solution may be as simple as a bit of “mommy time”.
Resolve to make time for yourself everyday. On a beautiful day, take the kids to the park, where you can relax and they can have some free time. Invite a girlfriend you haven’t seen in a while and use the time to catch up. If she works, offer to bring a picnic lunch to accommodate her lunch hour.
Regardless of what you do, time apart for one’s self is important for everybody. Rising early in the morning for a period of meditation can change the perspective of your whole day. Paying attention to your own needs can keep the specter of depression at bay.
Well done, Kim Clijsters
Kim Clijsters became the first mom to win a major since 1980, defeating Caroline Wozniacki 7-5, 6-3 in the U.S. Open final on Sunday.
The mother of all comebacks: Kim Clijsters celebrates unlikely U.S. Open triumph with daughter Jada
By NICOLA BODEN
Last updated at 12:18 PM on 15th September 2009
Appearing in her first grand slam tournament since retiring more than two years ago, Kim Clijsters would probably have been quite happy to make it into the second week.
Instead, she stormed all the way through to the final and took the title – repeating her success at Flushing Meadows four years ago.
The delighted 26-year-old was able to celebrate with her young daughter, Jada – who was the very reason she gave up tennis in the first place.
The toddler, who at 18 months is the spitting image of her Belgian mother, lapped up the limelight at the Arthur Ashe stadium as her mother showed off her trophy.
‘We tried to plan her naptime a little bit later so she could be here today. It’s the greatest feeling in the world, being a mother,’ an over-whelmed Clijsters told the cheering crowds.
Family affair: Kim Clijsters with daughter Jada after winning the U.S. Open in New York
Delight: Clijsters kisses husband Brian Lynch in the stands and, right, celebrates with him and Jada
Clijsters is the first mother in 29 years to take a grand slam crown after Evonne Goolagon won Wimbledon in 1980. She is also the first ever wild card entrant to win the U.S. Open.
Her triumph against Caroline Wozniacki was all the more remarkable because she gave up tennis in 2007 to start a family with husband Brian Lynch, a basketball player.
More…
The U.S. Open was only her third tournament since she announced her return to the courts in March this year. As Clijsters said herself this morning: ‘Winning was not really our plan’.
A hugely popular player, the Belgian was welcomed back onto the tour with open arms and swept aside both Venus and Serena Williams on her journey to the U.S. title.
Serena handed her a place in the final on Saturday night after arguing with a line judge who called a foot fault as she was 15-30 and serving to stay in the match.
I can’t look Mummy: Clijsters and her 18-month-old daughter lap up the limelight at the Arthur Ashe Stadium
Historic: Clijsters is the first mother to win a grand slam in almost 30 years
After a warning earlier in the game when she smashed her racket, Serena was given an automatic point penalty for a second violation and the match was over.
In truth, Clijsters had already been comfortable and took it 6-4, 7-5 but a message she posted on Twitter later revealed she was still struggling to absorb quite how far she had already come.
‘The fairy tale goes on – some how, I’m in the US Open final on Sunday beating both Venus and Serena along the way… am i dreaming???,’ she wrote.
Less than 24 hours later, when a final delayed by rain eventually took place, she duly overcame ninth seed Wozniacki of Denmark 7-5 6-3 to complete the fairy story.
Clijsters clinched the 93-minute match – and its $1.6m pay cheque – with a forehand winner and sank to her knees in celebration, visibly sobbing.
She immediately climbed up to her family’s box to give Brian – her husband of two years – a kiss and to hug her friends.
Isn’t Mummy clever? Jada was fascinated by the silver trophy, which comes with a $1.6m pay cheque
Playful: Jada, who is the spitting image of her mother, runs around the court at Flushing Meadows
‘I don’t have words for this,’ she said during the trophy presentation ceremony. ‘I’m just glad I got to come back and defend my title from 2005. It’s so exciting for me.’
Clijsters, who was unranked because of her time out from the game, was offered a wild card for the tournament earlier this year.
She had not competed in the event since her first grand slam triumph there in 2005 – missing out in 2006 because of injury and then because she had already retired.
‘I just wanted to start these three tournaments to get back into the rhythm of playing tennis and get used to the surroundings again. So I have to thank the USTA for giving me the wild card to come back here,’ she said.
It took a while for Clijsters to find the range with her groundstrokes against Wozniacki, who was appearing in her first grand slam championship match.
But by the end of the final at a windy Arthur Ashe Stadium, she was cracking winners from both sides and registered 36 in all compared to her opponent’s 10.
Wozniacki had been a break up in the first set at 5-4 but Clijsters closed it out by winning the last three games and then dominated in the second set to win.
Champion: Clijsters, husband Brian and daughter Jada posing for pictures in Times Square
The Dane was magnanimous in defeat, saying: ’She’s such a great girl. Unfortunately she beat me today. She played a great match and deserved this trophy.’
Clijsters’ victory will spur on Roger Federer, who will be out to prove tonight that new fathers can also win grand slams.
Now the father of twins, the World Number One takes on an in-form Juan Martin del Potro in the men’s final and is aiming to win a record 16th grand slam title.
Of Clijsters’ win, he said: ‘Amazing. For her to have this incredible run is fantastic. This is a great story for women’s tennis, that’s for sure.’
The Belgian was previously engaged to Australian tennis star Lleyton Hewitt.
She is not now expected to make a full return to the tour but is likely to play in major competitions, including Wimbledon.
Hard-fought: Clijsters overcame ninth seed Caroline Wozniacki in two sets to clinch the grand slam title
Winner: Evonne Goolagong with her daughter Kelly in 1978, two years prior to her second Wimbledon triumph
About Kim Richardson
Help for Mothers in Crisis
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Kim Richardson
Kim Richardson M.A. (Clin Psych). is a mother’s advocate, coach and postpartum counselor. She provides telephone / skype and in-office support, counseling and information on beating the Mommy Blues – from stressful daily challenges to full blown crisies such as divorce, postpartum depression, illness, loss, infertility etc.
If you or a mother you know is struggling in anyway,
Contact Kim Richardson
Tel: 312-882-5067
Email kimarichardson@gmail.com
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Recent
- For Dads: What To Do, What Not To Do When Your Wife Has Postpartum Depression
- The baby boost – how babies are helping their moms recover from depression.
- Insufficient sleep linked to increased incidence of postpartum depression
- Going Through a Crisis
- PPD? Questions & Tips for Postpartum Women
- Postpartum Depression Shouldn’t Make Moms Feel Ashamed
- Asking for Help: What Gets in the Way and Why?
- Blues or Depression – how do you know?
- How can stay-at-home moms avoid depression?
- Well done, Kim Clijsters
- The Anatomy of Depression
- Advice for New Parents
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Links
- WordPress.com
- WordPress.org
- Parentopia
- Motherlode
- Maternally Challenged – Tracy Thompson
- Mothers Movement Online
- Moms Rising
- The Postpartum Stress Center
- Postpartum Dads
- Postpartum Progress – Katherine Stone
- The Mommy Blues
- Huffington Post
- Celebrity Baby Blog
- Robert D. Stolorow's Huff Post Blog
- Screamfree Parenting with Hal Runkel
- Dr. Hedaya author of 'The antidepressant survival program'
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Archives
- August 2011 (7)
- July 2011 (6)
- December 2010 (1)
- November 2010 (2)
- October 2010 (4)
- September 2010 (4)
- March 2010 (1)
- December 2009 (4)
- November 2009 (3)
- October 2009 (4)
- September 2009 (5)
- August 2009 (7)
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Categories
- action plans
- asking for help
- baby sleep
- children's needs
- crisis
- depression
- goal-setting
- goals
- health
- helplessness
- Jaycee Lee Dugard
- motherhood
- mothering girls
- mothers at work
- new mother
- parenting
- Parenting Book Reviews
- parenting styles
- postnatal depression
- postpartum depression
- Postpartum Depression NEWS
- recipe
- recognizing depression
- self-care
- sleep for moms
- Uncategorized
- values
- vision
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