Taking Action – Making a Goal a REAL Part of your Life!

Last week I shared the concept of S.M.A.R.T. goals and how you can apply them in your mothering life (or any area of your life).

If you did not have a chance to read the newsletter or you are a new subscriber, you can still read it on the mommy blues blog by clicking here.
This week I want to help you turn your SMART goal into action.
First, let’s do some PREPARATORY work:
We do this because we want this to be different to all the other times you have wanted to do something differently and then been unable to follow through. All the times you may have tried and given up after a while, or found yourself distracted.
Here are some questions that will help you decide if you are ready and serious about making this change. Even something as seemingly small as spending 30 minutes of quality time with your child per day requires preparation. Because the consequences of doing it, or not doing it are equally significant.
Here are your questions:
1. Is your goal in true alignment with your values? Does it support one of your deeply held values? If not, it will be hard for you to keep the momentum going.
2. Are you willing to learn from experts, and do what has been proven to work? I.E finding, accepting, and applying the help and guidance that is available, rather than reinventing the wheel or trying something that has not worked for you before!
3. Are you ready and willing to do whatever it takes, even if those things are outside your comfort zone, to move to where you want to be?
4. Are you willing to accept full responsibility for your actions? This means no blaming your partner, your schedule, your parents or the economy or anything else. Of course, it means taking credit for your success and acknowledging yourself for that!
5. Do you understand that no-one is coming to rescue you, or do it for you? You are the one that has to do the work.
Okay, so NOW that you are ready, let’s take action by making an ACTION PLAN:
An action plan is like a to-do list but it focuses on the achievement of a single goal. You will list all the steps in order, and as such it allows you to track your progress.
An alternative way of devising and action plan is the Backward Planning Process. In this process you write down your ultimate goal and by what date you wish to achieve it.
You then work backwards, asking yourself what milestone you need to Asks accomplish just before that. You continue to work back, in the same way, until you get to the very first step you need to take to get your plan into action. This is where you begin.
Finally, you can think about structures you can put in place that will support your action. In our example from last week, Jennifer wanted to spend 30 minutes per day with her daughter. A structure she might use would be to set a daily reminder or alarm her cell phone alerting her 20 minutes before the time she will spend with her daughter.
Secondly she decided that she will make herself accountable to someone.
Both these structures give Jennifer a good chance at being consistent with her goal and her plan.
Best of luck!Kim
PS. Don’t forget that one of the best ways of making yourself accountable is by hiring a coach.

What is your vision for 2015?

The beginning of a new school year!

If you live in America and have school age children, you will now be a few weeks or a month into the new school year.

I don’t know about you but I always enjoy the beginning of the school year. It brings back the structure and order that is missing from summer. I am not a highly structured person by nature (this might be an understatement) so I appreciate having the discipline of school imposed on me!

I also like to use this time of year to look at where I am in my life and where I am going.
Today I want to share an exercise with you that I first came across in Tony Robbin’s book, Awaken the Giant Within. I have simplified and modified it a little. If you want to be surprised by how powerful and motivating this deceptively simple exercise can be, then you MUST do it! Don’t just read it.

It won’t work if you simply read it.

So get out a pen and paper or use your computer and let’s begin!

A. Firstly, Let’s start with YESTERDAY.

Think back to September / October 2005. If you have children, how old were they. What were you doing? And where were you living?
Now think of three areas of your life and describe each of them as best you can in a paragraph or two. Here are the three areas:
1. Your relationships (with your significant other, your family of origin, your friends and with your children).
2. Your occupation and finance (your job, career, studies, hobbies, passions, calling etc). Even if you were not working or earning, think about where you were in this aspect of your life.
3. Your Health (emotional, physical and spiritual). Think about diet, exercise, relaxation, sleep, physical health, happiness-sadness, stress-anxiety, any chronic or acute illnesses or injuries. Think of your relationship with something spiritual. Describe where you were 5 years ago.

B. Secondly, let’s look at TODAY.
Once again describe each of the above areas as they are now, today as fully as you can. Where are you right now in each of these areas.

C. Thirdly, let’s look at TOMORROW.

Write down the date 5 years from today. How old will your children be? Where will you be? Do you know? Where do you want to be? What are your dreams and hopes and plans and goals? What is your vision?
Look at each of the three areas of your life and describe how you would like them to be. Dare to dream and be as bold and courageous as you can be. Be as detailed as you can be. Describe the state of your relationships, your finance, your health! Don’t limit yourself. Paint a picture of yourself in five years time that is inspiring and motivating and somewhat possible!
Next time we will look at what we can do next with our vision.
Enjoy yourself and send me your comments. I love to hear from you!

Very Warmly,
Kim

 

5 Steps to SMARTER New Year’s Resolutions

5 Steps to SMARTER New Year's Resolutions

New Year’s Eve is upon us – a magical time for setting new goals and making changes.  Would you like to harness some of that magic for yourself?

Following these five steps will increase your chances of reaching your goals next year, and being successful at what you desire.

Traditionally, the end of the year is a time for making resolutions. Very often these are things we have struggled with all year, and not been able to achieve. And so, we think that by re-invoking them on New Year’s Eve they will be imbued with some kind of magic – and they will happen!

Now, I do think there is a bit of truth to that belief. There IS some mystery and magic in ritual and symbol that we don’t always fully understand. So choosing a special day when millions of other people are also deciding to make some kind of change is a good idea! But it’s not enough.

Here are 5 tips for more successful resolutions –  resolutions that have a very good chance of being followed through.

1.  Choose your New Year’s Resolutions Consciously and Seriously

Setting goals is part of all of our lives, but often it is done unconsciously and with very little purpose and direction. Many of us make choices by default. Today, right now, choose a goal consciously and purposefully. Give it due consideration.

Think about your understanding of goals. A goal is well-defined. Like a target, it gives you clarity, motivation and focus. Having goals gives you a better chance of being successful.

Do you want your goal to be about making a change, forming a new habit, developing a skill, learning something new, stopping something old? What is your goal? For mothers, does your goal have to do with better parenting, better self-care?

2. Align your Goal with your Values

When you goal is aligned with your values, it has a better chance of being realized.  Your values are what you esteem and give worth to. They determine where you spend your money, time and energy. So before, settling on a goal, spend a few moments deciding whether it is, in fact, part of YOUR value set. If it isn’t, it’s going to be very difficult to be consistent with it.

What are your top 5 values? Write them down..

3.  Be SMART about your Resolution or Goal.

You need to write it down. Clearly. Use the SMART method. In other words, make sure that it is specific (S), measurable (M), attainable (A), realistic (R) and has a time-frame (T). The more defined and specific, the better.  Then you will know for certain whether you are achieving it or not. Most goal experts advise you to read it morning and night, so write it down and keep it where you can see it daily.

4.  Make a PLAN of Action.

If you don’t plan, you plan to fail. It’s really as simple as that. Not creating an action plan is defaulting to not following through. So step 4 is to create the action plan. All you need to do is write down the steps required to achieve the goal. You can start from the end (the final product) and work backwards or you can start from the present, and write down the very next step. Keep going and keep asking yourself, “What is my next step?” Write down each tiny step – that will be your action plan.

5. Create a BACKUP Plan

In the final step, you are going to think through all the obstacles that could get in the way of following through on your resolution. Think of what you have tried in the past and what has stopped you. List them all, and then write down in advance what you will do to overcome them this time. How youwill not let them become excuses for abandoning your goal. Be proactive and prepared. We’re all human, after all, and prone to distraction and fatigue and inconsistency!

So what structure could you create to help you stay on track? Be creative and serious about it. This is your life you are planning – not just a goal!

My very best wishes to you for a wonderful New Year full of realized goals and dreams!

Kim Richardson